I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
