cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize