I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
