Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
