He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
