I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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