i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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