is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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