No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
