I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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