I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
