Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
