Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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