I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
