Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
