Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My penis needs a shock collar
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
