Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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