out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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