sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
