She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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