okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
