return my video game
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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