I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Randomize