if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I supernannyed him into submission
I love you. Go after that dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
