One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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