So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
