Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
