it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bring me that man meat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize