I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
