Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
