I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
