i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
