Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
