his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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