found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize