I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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