Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
