omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
