You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
