1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
