whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
