You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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