There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
