About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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