tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
