the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
