It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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