If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
