is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
