BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hippo gnu deer
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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