Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
