Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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