Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
