you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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