You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
