this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
