Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
