I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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