Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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