i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
as a side note pls kill me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
