Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
