I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
