the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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