Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
