you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
